|
|
 |
|
|
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
Read Gay/les/bi Advice
Click here to return to Gay/Les/Bi Advice
Not finding the question you're looking for? Click here to Ask Our Advisors!
| Topic: |
Dating |
| Date: |
May 04, 2008 |
| datelessgirl asks: |
| ive been single for 7 to 8 months now and i was wondering where i can look for lesbians and bisexual girls where i live. im not good at knowing which girl is or not cuz im not sure if i have any gaydar. im bi so i have only had one gf and she was very open about being bi but im not so much. im out to my friends but not with strangers. so how can i find a girl without being to open to her or scaring her off. |
|
| paperwingsburn says: |
| Unfortunately, it's hard to find other girls without being out. About the only thing you can do is search around online...maybe myspace, facebook, or an actual dating site and just see what you can find. It may take some time, but if you really want to find someone, it may be something you want to try. A lot of dating sites offer searches by distance. Also, you could check in your area for any gay organizations which could benefit you in other ways as well. And if you know anybody else that's gay whether it be a guy or a girl, you could possibly get them to introduce you to other girls. Best of luck! :-) |
|
| Topic: |
Coming Out |
| Date: |
May 04, 2008 |
| Crushed asks: |
| I am a 14 yr old male freshman, and only three of my closest friends i am gay. It hasnt changed anything between me and any of them. Anyway, I really wanna tell my crush. We have only became friends this year, but I think even if he isnt gay (which I rly hope he is) he will keep it secret, bcuz Ive told him about some other secrets. But the only "out" gay kid we had at my skool, he was only in my skool for about three months, thenmoved bcuz everyone made fun of him. im rly scared, so plz tell me wat i shud do. come out to my crush, or no? |
|
| paperwingsburn says: |
| Unfortunately, I can't tell you whether you should or not. If you sincerely think he would be okay with it and keep it a secret, I'd say go for it. Otherwise, if you still want to, I'd somehow subtley find out his opinion on homosexuality. Maybe mention a gay celebrity or something just to see how he responds and then go from there. You'd have a better idea of what to expect. Hope all goes well! |
|
| Topic: |
School |
| Date: |
April 29, 2008 |
| hatchetman420 asks: |
| I am entering jobs corps and no one there will know i am gay. I was just wondering what i should do. |
|
| paperwingsburn says: |
| If you are comfortable telling them off the bat, go for it. It's not a crime to hide it though. Maybe you should make some friends first and decide what you want to do. It's hard to make a decision before you're in the situation. |
|
| Topic: |
General |
| Date: |
April 29, 2008 |
| Prince_Jon asks: |
| this is like a combo of self, school, and sex lol. now just to start off, i know nothing can happen...and im not afriad to talk about this
im having a major problem with my science teacher. i have this head over heels physical attraction to him. like just looking at him spawns sexual thoughts...and its really bothering me...to the point where its affecting my everyday. its enough that im now having to bring it to therapy. like i said i know nothing can happen and ive accepted that. i would just like to know how to deal with these feelings before the sexual frustration takes me over and i do or say something i will regret. i mean i respect him enough that i would never act on these feelings..it just makes me feel like a little ashamed like, "how could i think like that about him". i got a very small alternative high school, so like we are all friends there. which makes it even harder. i just want to know how i can deal with these feeling without making a huge deal about it. like i said again i know its not gonna happen, but its like my mind will not stop thinking about him and other things. and i don't want to think that way about him. lol i really hate this |
|
| bretth4 says: |
A lot of people have had teacher crushes at some point in their life, and they always suck. Its good that youve accepted that nothing will happen, because nothing will. It seems that your biggest problem is with self control and there arent a lot of things you can do about that.
1. masturbate. However much you do it now, do it more. It will really make your sexual drive during the day go down.
2. Try to distance yourself from him and keep contact to a minimum. |
|
| Topic: |
General |
| Date: |
April 28, 2008 |
| LEADER_BLU asks: |
| i have sent u before but no reply. may i know why?!! |
|
| paperwingsburn says: |
| I've personally never gotten a question from you. I answer all of the questions I get. |
|
| Topic: |
Friends |
| Date: |
April 28, 2008 |
| keyboardbabe asks: |
| there's this girl who's a freshman at my school that has a crush on me. I like hanging around her and just playing but i'm gay and since she's new, she doesn't really know about me. i don't want to hurt her cause she's a realy good friend so how should i break it to her. |
|
| paperwingsburn says: |
| The sooner, the better. Don't lead her on in any way. You just have to find a good time to tell her how you feel and word it in a way that let's her know you are protecting her feelings by telling her. |
|
| Topic: |
General |
| Date: |
April 26, 2008 |
| Rennoc asks: |
| Hi
This is probly a common question but im having trouble figuring out what i am, such as am i straight and going threw a phase? or bi and confused? or gay and in denial.
Ive been turning the idea for a long time now and its starting to put pressure on me phyiscally and mentally and i really need help.
I never really like anybody to be honest but after puberty hit me hard ive been getting mixed attractions to diffrent classmates at my school; to some girls i dont even know yet i find them the best people around and i want to stare at them and to boys i would rather behead them than go out with but im finding myself wanting to go out with them anyway and its really not helping me figure my problem.
Can anyone help?
thanks |
|
| bretth4 says: |
Sexual confusion is very common in puberty for everyone, regardless of orientation. There are a couple of things it helps to understand: 1. being bi or gay is perfectly normal and completely acceptable 2. youre not alone in being confused 3. its usually not a phase, but there are always exceptions. 4. sexual attraction and romantic attraction are two very different things and you can have one towards a gender without the other.
other than those, theres really nothing you can do but relax, take a deep breath and look inside yourself. |
|
| Topic: |
Self |
| Date: |
April 26, 2008 |
| anonymous asks: |
| i came to the conclusion that i'm a lesbian about 2 years ago. i've come out to most of my closest friends. the problem is i'm still not comfortable with it. i know i'm 100% gay, but i'm not proud. :/ someone at school will ask me, "are you a lesbian?" (just out of curiousity) & i'll freeze up & say "mmNO". i feel guilty later, and everything is weighing on my concience. I also have several friends who confide in me about most everything, & i haven't told them about me. (this is because they are complete homophobes, and i know telling them will mean ending out friendship) At the same time I really want to tell them. everyone says "if they don't accept you, they really aren't your friends, are they?" I'd like to come out to them, but I want to do it in a casual way. I figure if I don't make a big deal they're less likely to make a big deal, right? How do I go about doing this, and how can I loosen up at school & stop lying about my orientation? |
|
| paperwingsburn says: |
| I've known I'm a lesbian for about 8 years now, and I'm still not 100% comfortable with everyone knowing. It's totally okay and not uncommon to feel that way. Don't rush yourself. And you don't have to tell anyone you aren't ready to tell. It's not a betrayal. It's YOUR life and your business and when you're ready, you'll be able to do it. A good way to be casual is to not make a big speech about it. Just throw it out there when the opportunity comes. If you're cool about it, they are more likely to be cool with it. But wait until you're totally ready if you're that worried about it. A lot of my friends were somewhat homophobic and got over it cause we were friends. Others don't get over it, but it's definitely true that they aren't your real friends if they have a problem with you. Trust me, I hardly talk to anybody I went to high school with. I don't lose sleep over it. If your closest friends are already on your side, you don't have much to lose. There are millions of people in the world that would love to be friends with you. That's how it'll always be. Spend your time being happy with the friends that love you no matter what. It'll take away a lot of future grief. |
|
| Topic: |
General |
| Date: |
April 25, 2008 |
| n650 asks: |
| I'm a 15 going on 16 year old teen boy. I love girls but im also turned on by gay things ive cybered with a few guys and it got me off but i never actually feel anything for them is something wrong with me? I love girls emotionally and physically but guys i only LIKE physically PLEASE HELP! am i a bad person? |
|
| johnny_panic says: |
| Nah, you're not a bad person. I wouldn't worry about that. You could be bisexual. A lot of bi people feel one type of attraction toward one gender and another type of attraction toward the other. Or who knows, you might even find yourself feeling deeper attractions to guys in the future. As for now, don't worry about labeling yourself and don't feel bad. Just make sure you're not leading any guys on. Make it clear from the start that you don't have feelings for them, or someone could wind up getting hurt. But remember, you're young and you'll be doing a lot of growing and learning over the next few years. Your confusion will subside in time. So don't worry. |
|
| Topic: |
Coming Out |
| Date: |
April 24, 2008 |
| Shawntae69er asks: |
| Hi, im a bixsexual, and i have a boyfriend who i love with a my heart, i recently told him i was by and i fooled around with my bestfriend, at first he told me it was alright to be this way, but everythime my girl calls, he gets mad, and when imn with her he thinks im messin with her, he is jealous of her, why cant he just trust me??? he also said he wanted to have a threesome but now, i dont even talk to her??? What should i do??? |
|
| bretth4 says: |
| You should never fool around with a girl when you are with someone, thats just terribly rude behavior. Im not sure if that was the case here but just so you know. But honestly, hes only jealous because he thinks there might be something going on between you and her. You need to tell him once and for all that there is nothing between you and your friend anymore and if he still cant trust you, you might want to reexamine your relationship and whether you should be dating him. |
|
|
 |
 |
 |
|
|
