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| Topic: |
General |
| Date: |
March 01, 2010 |
| hardproblem asks: |
| Ok, I am new to this site. I am new to telling people and expressing my feelings. I am not one to usually fall to options such as these for advice and things, but I need someone, anyone that is totally outside of my situation. I am a boy,17 and am a junior. We will just say I am bi right now.
Last July I got involved sexually with a boy, his name is Jeff. Jeff and I have been in a on/off relationship since last July. We are both not out. Jeff and I dated for a week back in July, and this is when we had our first sexual experiences with each other. I have a fatal attraction to Jeff that he does not share for me. Right now I have a girlfriend who I have had for a month, but I have not been able to stop thinking about Jeff. He also has a girlfriend but he cheated on her with me for three months. A month ago, Jeff cut off all sexual relations with me.
I know that we both have girlfriends, but there is something about him that I cannot get out of my head. It is a feeling much like love. We make eye contact often and it feels so right. I am afraid I would cheat on my girlfriend for him. I am not sure if this is all pointing toward me being gay or what, but I just want to approach him about how I feel for him but I await certain rejection if I tell him how I feel. This is how it has been for the past 7 months, eh is so sensitive about these types of things that I could not truly tell him how I feel. I want to get over him, but part of me wants to stay attached to him. February was the first month since July that we had not had sex. It is killing me. I don't know what to do. |
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| rickweber says: |
I think part of you is hopeful that somehow magically things will turn around: he'll feel the same way about you as you do about him, he'll leave his gf, and he'll be with you. However, you say that he does appear to like you as much as you like him, you both are cheating on your partners, and you worry that he'll reject you. Is that what love looks like for you? Don't you want a partner who likes you back and wants to be with you too? I would seriously think about that before pursuing this any further.
I also feel the need to mention your worry about cheating on your current partner. If you need to sort this out with him, don't put her through that. She deserves fairness and a partner who really wants to be with her too. She certainly doesn't deserve unfaithfulness. |
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| Topic: |
General |
| Date: |
February 12, 2010 |
| Wanderer asks: |
| Ok. Im fairly new to this site but im been dieing to get some new advice on how to get this guy to admit something to me. Im 16 years old and currently in the 10th grade. Theres this guy i met in band my freshman year and i didnt think i was going to feel anything for him and i didnt my freshman year, but then come this year something happened. I dont know what but something just stuck out to me something i liked about him. I didnt want to admit it but i had to because i have never felt this way about a person before. Hes straight but my question is why does he look into my eyes like no one else. Why does he hug me like hes hugging a girl. Wrapping his arms my head like im his?? Why does he stand so close to me like you want to hold me.
He did this so much when he was in band with me and my friends. To him im straight but to my best friend that happens to be a girl im gay.
Recently like yesterday my best friend told him how i felt. He said he was ok with it and that was the end of the confirsation. i didnt get it. why didnt he say antyhhing else. I dont know but i need to know the trueth about him about him but i dont know how i could talk to him now after he knows how i feel. I know all i have to do is talk to him but how could i when im so shy...
I just want to know what he realy thinks?? Can you help.. Thanks for the help! |
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| rickweber says: |
I think you already know what to do, go talk to him! You're not going to find out how he feels until you do. And, if he has something to say about you're liking him, I think he's rather say it to you rather than your friend.
I do think it's important to consider that it's possible you may be construing things to your liking. When we're uncertain if someone likes us back, we look for any sign that could be a sign of reciprocal liking. Your interpretation of these "signs" may not be accurate. From your end, you might feel this deep, affectionate connection with him. However, that may not be his experience. To him, he's simply hugging an acquaintance.
It sounds like there is at least an opportunity for friendship with this person. Regardless of whether he likes you the same way you like him, nothing can develop if you don't talk to him! |
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| Topic: |
General |
| Date: |
February 08, 2010 |
| confuzzled asks: |
| hey im 14 and ive kissed a friend of the same sex a few years back.she said it was a sign of friendship but it felt like much more.we kissed multiple times,she wanted to and im just wondering can kissing the same sex count as your first kiss?because i thought u had to kiss a member of the opposite sex in order for it to be a first kiss.so would that count as my first kiss? |
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| axedmoon says: |
| It can count as your first kiss. If it matters to you, and it was a real kiss to you, then it was your first kiss. :) |
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| Topic: |
General |
| Date: |
February 08, 2010 |
| confuzzled asks: |
| hey im 14 and ive kissed a friend of the same sex a few years back.she said it was a sign of friendship but it felt like much more.we kissed multiple times,she wanted to and im just wondering can kissing the same sex count as your first kiss?because i thought u had to kiss a member of the opposite sex in order for it to be a first kiss.so would that count as my first kiss? |
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| axedmoon says: |
| If it's a kiss to you, it counts as your first kiss. It doesn't matter upon gender. :) |
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| Topic: |
Dating |
| Date: |
February 01, 2010 |
| perfectlyflawed6977 asks: |
| i've always known that i was different. when i was 6 my first little kid "boyfriend" was well, a "girlfriend". and i always saw it as normal.
i only had the one girlfriend until high schooland i dated boys to be normal. or what everyone saw to be normal. i came out as bisexual my junior year, and i lost some friends, but gained new ones.
so ive been thru the coming out to friends and dating girls and being well, just happy and carefree, but i never told my family.
now i am 20 years old, and ive been dating the same guy for two years. we live together, and its not that im not attracted to him. and i love him with all of my heart, but it sometimes just doesnt feel right. i feel more comfortable around other gays and lesbians than anyone else. and i frequently think about being with women instead of him. is this wrong? is it possible that i decided that labeling myself as bisexual was the only way to be normal? is it possible that im just gay and terrified?
i love my boyfriend, and i love being with him, and i dont want to hurt him by any means, but sometimes i just feel wrong.
any advice? |
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| rickweber says: |
I think you need to explore this nagging feeling more. You say that in the past you've dated boys in the past to "be normal." Did this play into your decision to enter into this relationship? Are you trying to please your immediate family by being with him? What about the relationship doesn't "feel right?" If this relationship is incongruent with who you are and what you want, what function does it serve to stay in it? Is it not unfair to him to stay in a relationship that may not be right for you?
I can't tell you what your feelings are, I'm not sure you even know. I can tell you that your nagging feeling is worth exploring. I also think it may be helpful for you to hang out/talk with other LGBT people. You can make a profile on SCN and post in our LGBT forum. I would also consider seeking out support from trustworthy friends. You might also consider seeking support from a therapist. Sometimes talking to someone outside of your relationship & inner circle can bring clarity. |
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| Topic: |
Coming Out |
| Date: |
January 14, 2010 |
| girl555444 asks: |
| i would like to come out to my friends but they are very religious people and its against their religion to be gay. i feel so awkward around them when they are talking about how cute guys are when i dont feel the same way. what would be the right way to tell them? (if there is one)
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| rickweber says: |
There is no "right way" to come out. You come out to whom you want, when you want, and however you want to. However, I would weigh the pros and cons of coming out to these people. Unfortunately we risk a lot by coming out, including friendships. Keep in mind that it may take time for some friends to come around, and some friends never do come around. It's important to have friend who you can trust and who like you just the way you are. There are plenty of opportunities to have friendships with people who will.
Here is a link to our resource guide. Here you can find great coming out links that you might find helpful.
http://forums.student.com/viewtopic.php?t=317314
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| Topic: |
General |
| Date: |
January 14, 2010 |
| KindaConfused asks: |
| There's this guy I've been talking to for awhile. We like each other and we've both admitted it, but lately he's been distant and he's been talking to a lot to another guy. I kind of think he likes him now. I'm just confused because I don't want to be led on and then hurt. Do you think I should talk to him about it, or just leave it be. I'm afraid of confrontation a bit, and I don't wanna seem like I'm obsessing over him or something. Thanks for your help! |
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| rickweber says: |
| What is there to confront him about? You like each other, and maybe he likes this other guy too. Just continue to hang out and talk to him. Maybe you can develop a friendship with this person or perhaps take things to a different level and go out sometime. |
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| Topic: |
Sex |
| Date: |
January 12, 2010 |
| Embarrassed asks: |
| So, I'm 15. And I recently have just gotten my first boyfriend, and we really like each other. But the other day, we were fooling around, and he made a comment about my precum, and how there is so much of it. And then after, he said something about how "precum tastes terrible!" I was wondering if There is anyway to not precum as much? Because I never really thought It was that much until he said something, and I noticed that he had almost none. I just feel really bad that he would have to deal wit that. I mean, that was the first and only time either of us had fooled around so far. But I just feel that he's getting a little turned off by it. Like he barely did any sucking, because he said it was weird. And I just feel bad. Is there anyway to not precum as much? |
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| bretth4 says: |
| No there really isn't. You can try to eat citrus fruits before sex though, they normally make any discharges a lot better tasting. It's not really a problem with most guys though, in fact a lot of boys enjoy having a partner who precums. |
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| Topic: |
Coming Out |
| Date: |
December 31, 2009 |
| Quepeds asks: |
| Im a boy, im bi and i want to come out to my best friend (male)
he hates the gay "stereotypes" but is ok with bisexuals he saya he is straight but i thinl what we have is really special and because he is my bestfriend i wanna comeout to him. The things is that im on vacations and staying in Miami and he is back at my hometown so i want to tell him by msn. Do you think i should? |
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| axedmoon says: |
| This is probably late of me, but yes.. I think you should! |
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| Topic: |
School |
| Date: |
December 29, 2009 |
| trewb5 asks: |
| Are there any gay friendly schools on the east coast |
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| axedmoon says: |
| You mean colleges? Look for big liberal cities.. ? Boston, New York City, etc. :) |
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