The Gay Student Center Web Community and Resource for Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, and Questioning College Students and Teens

Being bi-sexual isnt anything to be embarrassed of, nor is lesbian or gay. It's merely a preference. For years i denied this. I hated myself for being bi. I never told anyone and i punished myself through cutting. I thought i was some horrible person. But i was wrong. You can't help who you love. I first suspected i was bi when i was in sixth grade. I didn't begin to accept it until the summer after eigth grade. I looked in the mirror one day and thought 'life isn't worth living, unless i'm myself.' and that meant so much, to realize that i wasn't being true to myself. Slowly i began to accept myself. It was fine for other people to be gay, but i didnt want to be at first. I don't know what changed exactly. It wasn't until after my friend killed herself that i fully accepted myself. I didn't want to end up like her. I wanted to live my life. I began to slip hints to my family. I asked my mother what she thought about homosexuality. She flipped out. She, to this day, thinks it's wrong. I don't care though. I need to live for myself, and no one else. I haven't said "mom i'm bi." but from all that i have said, i'm pretty sure she knows. Coming out to my friends was worse. Most of them aren't prejudiced but i was afraid of being treated differently. The first person i told was my current boyfriend, Josh. At the time we were only friends, and i met him through this website. He was fine with it. I then opened up to all of my friends on this website. They convinced me that if someone can't accept me as i am, they aren't my friend to begin with. When i told my best friend she was furious. I had been depressed for 4 years, and this was one of the causes. She was shocked that i hadn't told her sooner. I was crying. She then told me she loves me for who i am, and it's ok that i'm bi. The only other person at school i have told is my friend Ben. He took it very well. It surprised him that i confided in him. I'm not flaunting my sexuality but if anyone ever asks me i'm not ashamed to tell them. No one should ever be ashamed. Love has no gender.

Missy (xopunkermissyox)